Most of you know, I have been a pretty consistent gardener for the past ten or so years. My friend Amy started a garden in her backyard and the idea of a space where food is growing, people are hanging out and life is happening really appealed to me. It felt like a magical connectivity was on display of life and abundance. After owning my house for a couple years I started with one four by eight foot garden bed. I planted radishes and carrots and zucchini. I put a few flower seeds in pots and eyed everything with curiosity and a cup of coffee each morning. I didn’t know much about anything and am not a researcher type, so what I’ve learned has come mostly from the backs of seed packets, through trial and error and from other gardeners I’ve met on instagram. Since then, I’ve slowly taken over almost the entire backyard. Fruit trees, raised beds, in ground beds, a no-dig flower garden. It has truly been my happy place, a huge part of my identity, and a therapeutic space where I can regenerate, heal, learn and work.

This year as spring approached, my interest waned in my typical garden tasks. Starting hundreds of cells of new, tender seedlings in my house sounded like such a chore this year. Typically, it is a moment I wait for with anticipation and even excitement. This shift in desire made me curious. Am I over gardening?! Is this thing I thought I deeply believed in actually just a passing fad for me? Was my conviction that everyone should garden totally misplaced based on the fact that my own passion would one day wane and I would give up!? Wow, it got existential. 

You could say I am an overachiever or perhaps and over-producer in life. Doing things the right way isn’t as important to me as always having a challenge and rising to that challenge. For those of you who are less obsessed with gardening, starting everything from seed for a large garden saves hundreds of dollars each year AND allows you to fill your garden with more unique varieties of plants, especially annual flowers. Control of how the young plants are cared for is a benefit especially when you want to have a handle on specific ingredients in the process being totally organic and non-GMO. Not to mention, there’s a sense of pride during the season when you have raised all your little seed babies into full grown, productive adults. It really is a beautiful process. But, with a very curious kitten getting into everything in the house, and no energy to fuel me, I accepted that this year I wouldn’t do my own garden starts from seed. I reluctantly opened my hands and let it go.

The sun started coming out. Color started to return to the world in all the perfect spring ways, and I let myself enjoy it. Instead of having to toil over tiny baby garden starts in the house, I spent a little time each day preparing the garden for whatever the 2024 season would bring. The poppies I thought I dug up completely years ago came back with vigor in the same spot they used to be. Bigger than ever and with more than usual in my favorite color of bright peach. 

When I knelt down to pull weeds I was greeted with all my favorite flowers. Several varieties I would typically have to start indoors are coming up on their own as self sown volunteers. It’s not unusual for my garden to speak to me. And this year, in my moment of choosing to scale back, the garden has moved towards me in its gentle way. Quietly existing outside my to-do lists, needs, ideas, expectations and demands. This simple lesson isn’t a new one for me…but nature is a persistent guide. 

You can’t strong-arm things outside yourself into a system of “shoulds”. And when you strong-arm yourself into a system of “shoulds” you will likely be missing the whole point. It’s ok to say no, to slow down and to let space exist where it was once filled. That isn’t scarcity. Maybe the thing you can’t imagine not doing is taking up space obstructing you from something more important. And maybe that thing will come up out of the soil to say hello right when you need a friend. 

I still have a lot of work I could do in the garden and I will probably continue to slowly plug away. But I would like to take this lesson into the 2024 growing season and into this season of my life. I don’t have to fill the space. I can leave room for things to come to me.

Thanks for reading, wherever you are at, whatever you are doing I hope there are blossoms nearby.

-KF

I have scaled back my schedule some and just have two events this month to tend to. Apologies for anyone who tried to go to Maxwell house last month! We ended up not being able to pull off our May show. But June 10th is for sure. Also, I’m doing some special runs of shirts for Bazaar, this will be my only market for the rest of the summer, so come say hello!

🎼 June 10 - Alcohol & Feelings at Maxwell House (7:30)
🎨 June 22 - Bazaar Market - Downtown Spokane (10am-8pm)

I heard a few of you enjoyed the May playlist (I listened to it a lot!) so I thought I would make another one. Click on the image below to head there. 🙂