Hello friends, first off I just wanted to say welcome. I started this newsletter as an effort to incorporate more slow, thoughtful communication into my digital world. For those of you who join in each month with me here, I really appreciate your attentiveness to this project. This one is a bit long because a lot is going on for me right now. So here’s the TL;DR - I’m moving to LA in January. Read on for the full story!

The yard sale, trips to the thrift store, going through all the junk drawers, the Facebook marketplace fatigue of trying to sell extra furniture. The shuffling my remaining things and my little remaining life into my parents house. Thanks mom and dad.

Can it be considered a pattern if there’s seventeen years in between? Because last time I did this I was just twenty-two. Giving up my stable job for the adventure of a traveling musician. I really didn’t own much at all and I wanted to play music. I was defined by my dream…fearless and young. And blonde.

This time is different, bigger. I just sold my home. Fourteen years in the same house, the longest I’ve ever lived anywhere. And now all my pared down belongings are piled into a POD.

This time is also different because I’m not defined by a single dream. The idea of having dreams for my life has changed so much. Today I was realizing that when you experience loss you can develop a narrative that your dreams have died…loss of a loved one, fracture of a relationship, a job ending…but it’s the specific realization of the dream that dies. It doesn’t always mean the dream is done being something you need. In my rage about my own personal failure I have worked so hard to protect myself from that failure again by believing I don’t want the thing I failed at any longer. If I never try again, I won’t have to feel like this again.

Since The Bartlett closed I’ve been in kind of an off and on state of mourning…trying to find some foothold and direction in my life, but getting stuck still processing change. The venue was a place so rife with stress and difficulty but I loved it with my whole self. We closed 6 years ago this month. As you know, 2019 was just the first year of many years of change for me and the world. Through all of that time I wanted to hold on to my house as some sort of semblance of consistency. A place I could feel safe and myself. I dug in my heels against everything in my life changing. I had to keep one thing. 

Turned out, the house had to go too. 

In the spring of this year I spent 6 weeks traveling as an experiment. Spending time with friends, doing art markets and finding walls to paint murals on. Upon my return home it didn’t take long for me to realize that I deeply needed more time away, for sure from my house…where the ghosts of my old life were low key still haunting me. But also time away from what has been a very sweet hometown life-lived. 

I’ve always been a big cheerleader for Spokane. So much of my adult life has been spent giving energy to build culture here. It’s been heart work, work of love and of dreams and imagination. But to no one’s surprise I’m pretty burnt out on it. Spokane requires a lot of vision and belief. The people who actively make this ever-budding-never-established arts culture what it is, have to give so much.

At Alcohol & Feelings last week at Maxwell House I was in awe looking around the room seeing so much joy and connection. It feels really good to create something people look forward to and come together to enjoy and support. I have loved that sort of work and I have carried and still carry a lot of imagination for it. It’s fun! I’m so grateful I’ve been able to realize the lost dream of the Bartlett in new ways. The core of it is my heart for connecting people around the arts. Being in a room together, experiencing something that makes us feel whole and ok no matter what is going on in our lives and in the world.

So, what now? The dream I’ve been putting off for two decades. 

My criteria for ever leaving Spokane has always been three-fold. The place must have a warmer climate…this is number one. Why would I ever leave such a comfy place where all my friends and family are if that place also made me super depressed during 5 months of the year? I wouldn’t. Number two is that the place must have more creative opportunities. I’m on the hunt for a culture that gives me more than I have to give it. 

If I could describe my role in the arts scene it would be a picture of a person wanting to be in a river but they are the one racing back and forth to a source with a bucket trying to keep the flow teeming with water. This could very well be a self-fulfilling prophecy or perhaps a self-engineered crutch that I can’t be involved in anything I didn’t create. But the point is, I want to jump into a flowing river. I’ve waited my whole life to finally live in a town where all my favorite bands are touring through. I want to be somewhere full of people making art full time. A place where trying to be a full time musician or artist isn’t a cute anomaly but just more normal! 

The last thing is more diversity. Cultural, ethnic, style, language, ideas, ways of being. Every big city has their own cliches, but I just love being in a more populated area where there’s more diversity and types of people living different lives. I find it exciting and inspiring. 

So, I’m moving to LA in January. It’s a place I’ve been fond of for as long as I can remember. And one of my best friends lives in the area now which just makes it feel easier to make the transition.

I’m living my dream of making art full time and still playing music and writing songs. Pinch me!!!! And now I get realize my dream of living in a warm place where I can get to the beach easily and see all my favorite live music.

If you want to say hello in person, my PNW schedule is below.

Super excited to be playing some tunes at Matt Mitchell’s songwriter round at Laurelthirst Pub in Portland. Show is at 9pm. Caroline will be joining me on harmonies!

I’ve been working with a couple friends on coordinating this benefit concert for Feast World Kitchen featuring the incredible duo from Cincinnati, Over the Rhine. Caroline, Jenny Anne and I will be playing a little set of covers and originals to kick off the evening. Tickets are limited.

Market season begins! I’ve been working so hard to get ready. I’ve got a really fun new collection of pottery and new illustrated playing cards and new prints and greeting cards. I’m so excited to be back in Seattle at one of the most incredibly curated craft fairs. Please come say hello and get your holiday gift shopping started early!

This will be my only Spokane market for the season!! From Here is well stocked with paper goods but this will be your only chance to get any ceramics. Other goods will obviously be online if you can’t make it.

Bring on the feels. And the alcohol. This will be the last A&F before I move. Let’s pack it out!

So excited to be back in Portland selling my art. This show is really cool, there’s over 250 vendors. I cannot wait!

Putting this in here because I want you to save the date. Caroline Fowler is spearheading a narrated Christmas show/concert/play. I’ll be playing at least one song along with a cast of familiar characters. It’s going to be special.

And if you happen to live in the LA area!

I’m dropping in on this country revue to do a couple songs with my friend Darla!

I’m so excited to be singing back up in the amazing Natalie Closner’s band this Friday in Pasadena at my favorite venue. Ticket link.

Thank you all! Sending you love. Get your ballots turned in!

- kf